Yesterday, I returned to trung tâm to sinh hoạt after about a month of being away. Your mom saw me after lễ and came up to congratulate me for passing my boards. But before she could even finish, she was in tears. She said that every time she sees me, she sees you.
I’ve always believed that the true meaning of best friends is the ability to share parts of your souls with one another. I’ve always thought that best friends essentially share the same soul. But I’ve never realized the magnitude of what that meant until yesterday.
It’s so tough, Thomas. On one hand, I am happy that a part of you still lives within me. But on the other hand, it is heartbreaking to know that every time your parents see me, they see you. I never want to cause anyone the pain of constantly reminding them that you’re gone. I don’t know what to do, man. I’m still stuck, just like I’ve always been. And I can’t let anyone else know that I miss you so much and that I’m still hurting… I’ve been trying so hard to be strong, pushing my own pain aside and ignoring it so that it may, on the off chance, alleviate some of the pain everyone else might be feeling. But right now, I just don’t know what to do.
I just hope that as the years go by, it’ll get easier, because it still hurts every time I think about you, no matter how wonderful the memory may be. I still see you, everywhere I turn. I think about you all the time. And I still miss you. I miss you so, so much.
Everlasting peace and true happiness to you,
One of those late nights where I can’t sleep, so I end up just browsing through photos on my laptop — browsing through old memories. And before I knew it… the sun came up. I guess I should try and get some rest.
I stumbled upon these two lost images in a folder tucked deep within the confines of my laptop underneath supposedly “organized” folders. I drew these two pictures a long time ago… Honestly, I had completely forgotten about them. I don’t even remember when I drew them… but I do remember that things were very different when I drew them.
I just jolted awake in a cold sweat, screaming and crying, because I just had probably one of the worst nightmares ever in my life. I’ve been sitting in bed for the past thirty minutes trying to calm myself down and telling myself over and over again, “It wasn’t real… It wasn’t real… It wasn’t real…”
…irony at its best.
I will walk out of this darkness, feel the spotlight glowin’…
I’m gonna just let go of everything holding back my dreams.
Let it shine so they can see, I was meant to be… somebody!
I’m so tired of being invisible…
Can you see me? ‘Cause I’m right here. Can you listen?